germany is a nice place, parts 4 and 5

In which we went to Cologne and Aachen.

We slipped out of Bochum like thieves in the early morning, boarding our train bound for Cologne with a certain mad excitement.  I had been informed, you see, that Cologne is the number one tourist destination in Germany for Germans.  That's the kind of cultural intimacy I was looking for!  If I'm going to be a tourist in Germany, at least let me act like a German tourist.

Still, I think I gave it away when I stepped out of the train station and was confronted with the most awe-inspiring sight of my life.

This was a different time of day, hence the new color.

These pictures doesn't really do the cathedral justice.  When you leave the train station, it takes up your entire view, and it holds your attention like nothing else.  The sense of scale is just awesome -- it may be a lot shorter than a skyscraper, but no highrise has ever made me feel insignificantly tiny like the Cologne Cathedral did.  The reason for that is how incredibly detailed it is.  Every square inch of this cathedral is covered in some sort of engraving, gilding, carving, or other magnificent decoration.  Your eyes can't just sweep over it quickly; there's always another subtle detail to arrest your gaze.  I think that's why it impresses me so much more than any 100-story building could.  There's no uniformity, or even continuity, to the architecture.  It just goes, and goes, and goes, taking up your entire world.

The inside is pretty spectacular as well:

You go, St. George!

Skulls:  a popular motif

That's right.  It was so awesome that I don't even have any stupid jokes to tell.

After (reluctantly) leaving the cathedral, we took a walk across the city to the LINDT CHOCOLATE MUSEUM!

Which was closed.

Then we took another long walk and made our way to the Hohenzollern Bridge.  This bridge is a place where people leave locks on stuff to show that they're in love.  There are a lot of locks.

No, I mean A LOT.

They stretch the entire length of the bridge, and some on the other side.

 Apparently, the train company that operates the bridge grew concerned that the weight of the locks was causing structural instability.  They tried to remove some of them, but the public outcry was too great, and they were forced to relent.  So...we didn't stay on the bridge too long.

After that, we took a trip out to the Cologne Zoo!...but it was too expensive for us to be willing to go in.  However, right next door was the absolutely free Cologne Botanical Gardens!!!

You know, Germany has a lot of cranes

We saw an honest-to-goodness frog on a lily pad!

Greetings, feral cat!

After that, we went back to the hostel and just chillaxed.  I did notice the hostel's board game collection, however!

The next day, we frittered away our time, stared at the cathedral, then headed out for AACHEN!

Aachen, to those of you who are putzes, is where Charlemagne came from.  They are pretty proud of that.  The second coolest thing I saw there was this dog:

Aachen has a cathedral of its own, but it's a lot less impressive.  It's just where Charlemagne was crowned Holy Roman Emperor by Pope Leo III, critically altering the future of European and world history.  No big deal.

We also saw Charlemagne's bones, so that was cool.

Would you believe that we also ate ice cream in Aachen?

Focus deliberate.  I have my priorities in order.

Oh, and we had currywurst.  That...that was the best.

PANORAMA OF AACHEN TOWN SQUARE

Can you see the most beautiful flower?  Yes, that's my wife.

The town hall, pictured in the last shot above, was really the best part of Aachen; it had an original meeting hall with a lot of Charlemagne stuff, and it was just really, really cool.  OK, it was still the second best part, actually.  The best part was this crazy German guy who lived in our hostel and told us about his time in the RAF flying F-16s around Lake Tahoe, and how his job know is making LASER TANKS (no kidding!).  He was awesome, and told us tons of jokes about how Germans have no sense of humor.

Then we left Aachen for good, heading to our true destination...a WEDDING at SAARBRÜCKEN!