a weirdo in china, pt. 10: exquisition

So I ditched Shanghai and set out for Beijing!

We took the high-speed rail out of Hongqiao Station, which has an operating speed of roughly 350 km/h. It was a really nice ride, with cheap snacks. I spent most of the 4-hour trip chilling in a connecting compartment with a beer, looking out the window at the insane sights we were speeding past.

We were moving too quickly for me to get good pictures of the most extraordinary stuff. But there were more than a few amusement parks:

I also saw pyramids, the Eiffel Tower, and a colossal Iron Man (hulkbuster, obviously). If you can dream it, someone in China has built it.

It wasn't a bad train ride by any means. The trains were one of the most enjoyable things about my visit to China, really. They were the only times I truly felt like someone cared about my well-being as a customer, as opposed to just trying to take me for all I was worth.

So the ride was comfortable, the views were good, the snacks were tasty and cheap, and as we went north, we hit a point where I could look out the window and actually see the transition between rice and wheat cultivation. It felt like I was getting a glimpse of China almost as well as when I'd been wandering the backstreets of Shanghai. It felt good.

Then I got to Beijing.

The air hit me like a hammer. When I'd arrived in Shanghai, I'd believed I knew what they meant when they talked about poor air quality. The air throughout Shanghai has the character of the air outside an airport terminal, with its permanent sensation of exhaust and despair. But, for all that, it was pretty light and breathable.

Beijing's wasn't. Beijing's air smells like a spoiled-beef-and-ground-pearl-flavored cigar. It has all the noxious character of a soaking-wet, incontinent St. Bernard. It smells like a man with a bacterial infection in his armpits mistakenly used a cinderblock for deodorant. And then decided he liked it and kept doing it for fifty years.

And it doesn't just smell. It has a texture, and it clings to everything. It makes the whole place feel ill and overused. People asked me why I didn't just use a mask, but the air already makes you think you're wearing one. It smothers you. Walking outside for more than two minutes made my eyes start to burn. A mask wouldn't be enough. You'd need a hazmat suit to protect yourself.

Pollution is terrible!

So, you'll have to excuse me if there's a bit of a scarcity of outdoor pictures from Beijing. I tried to go for a walk and get a feel for the neighborhood, but the atmosphere was more oppressive than any totalitarian regime could ever hope to be. It made me wonder if the entire smog system wasn't just a modern anti-assembly device.

For dinner, we had Peking Duck, which was delicious. It was eaten so quickly I didn't even get a picture of it. And I will give China this: its nice restaurants are really nicely decorated.

Even if the outside of the building, like every building in Beijing, just looks like a boring grey blob.

But Beijing is the capital city, so if any place is going to give us a sense for what it means to be 'Chinese', at least by Chinese standards, it has to be here. But I'm really starting to think even China is just going through the motions.

If it ain't lethally broke, why fix it?