a rarefied silence

Sometimes, you can't think of anything to say.

People handle silence differently.  I'm talking specifically about the silences that arise from a lull in conversation.  Some people are totally fine with it; they might say they're just able to enjoy the company of others without needing to talk, or they might genuinely be more interested in their own thoughts than in conversation with another.  Or they might just be content with silence.

Other people view silence as anathema, as a sign that something has gone very wrong in an interpersonal interaction.  Or maybe they're just desperate to make themselves heard, or they love the sound of their own voice.  Or perhaps they're so absolutely entranced with another person's words that they can't bear to go too long without hearing them.

I'm definitely of the sort that dislikes silence, but that might just be because I like talking (and listening) so much.  But it's difficult to find room for conversation during the busy workday, and more difficult still to identify areas of common ground for discussion that aren't the weather.

When I come across a good topic, then, I tend to reuse it ad nauseam.  That's a shame, because everybody has something unique and wonderful about themselves to share, I think.  We're all weird in our own fantastic ways.  But the niceties of social interaction in a professional setting generally restrict us from getting to know each other that way, and that's a shame.

I went to a bar with a large group of people from work, and I was shocked by the way some of my co-workers transformed:  they went from sort of stiff, distant courtesy to friendly banter and ribald joking in an instant.  And that was before they started drinking!

Of course, I understand the importance of maintaining workplace decorum.  But I'm always constantly doing my utmost to keep the discourse at work lighthearted and entertaining, and I guess that's not philosophy everyone shares.  That's why I was so gratified when, at a recent meeting, we were told that there would be a new initiative to make work more fun in general.  That what we do is important, but we still shouldn't take ourselves too seriously.

I was more than gratified; I was thrilled by the announcement.  Making work fun is a challenge for anybody, but for it to be a challenge accepted and promoted by the management?  That means it's a challenge that carries a reward, and nothing motivates me better than that.

I've always delighted in entertaining people.  Something about seeing somebody's eyes light up with laughter in response to something I've said satisfies me in a fundamental.

Of course, it isn't easy to always be "on" like that.  But I don't think you can take a shortcut to that point...I don't think silence can be shared in a meaningful way before you've shared a great deal of laughter with someone.  It's the difference between not knowing what to say, and knowing that everything you could possibly need to say is already will understood.

I hope you can make someone laugh today.