2015, An Annotated Year in Scott: December

How the time flies.



This is a lyric from the song "I'm Han Solo", part of Kinect Star Wars.  It's completely awesome.  Check it out.



This one is all me, I guess.  Can't pretend like it isn't a pretty generic image, but it's pretty nonetheless.  We're leaving 2015 behind, so get those tear ducts ready.



They didn't give scores at childcare class, but they should have.  I could completely wreck all comers.  Babies are extremely flexible.



This is frighteningly accurate, excepting the "dream wedding" bit.  I suppose it doesn't have to be mine, but where's the fun in that?  I don't have a cruise planned, either, but there's really nothing stopping me.  Sounds like a great idea for a honeymoon, anyway!

\

Seems like such a long time ago, doesn't it?  But it's just been twelve days, and it's over now.  Thanks for a great 2015, everybody.  Catch you on the flipside.

2015, An Annotated Year in Scott: November

What a busy month!



I got around to playing Undertale, and I was absolutely smitten.  It's so great, the wife is waiting for me to finish writing this so she can play it.  It made me weep!  Have you done that?



I went to Disney World for a week, which was every bit as incredible as you'd expect for someone who'd set a major goal for himself to watch and review every Disney movie.  I wasn't very far along when I visited, but you'd better believe it was quite impactful nonetheless.  This one was fun because the wife had no idea I had stolen the quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald.  That's what an 800 on the English section of the SAT is good for, folks.



I watched most of this movie on the flight to Orlando, then finished it in my hotel room the next day because I was so desperate to see what happened.  Everything about it was wonderful.  It was not a happy movie, but it made me deeply happy and excited to see what else this director has come up with.  But when I tried to tell people about it, and how great it was, they just looked at me like I was a weirdo.  That's my curse.



Everybody likes this, though.  And don't get me wrong, it's very cute -- but if you think this is good, you should really check out that movie.  I mean it.  They don't have anything in common.  Just trust me, would you?



I was pretty surprised by this, but what was I gonna do?  I sat outside the bathroom and waited another ten minutes.



Disney's in the past, a child's in the future.  Let it go.  Okay, some Disney is in the future.



Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri is one of my very favorite games ever, and its ceaseless quotability is a big part of that.  Listen to a wizened Chinese statesmen reciting the virtues of transcending your frail flesh to contribute your entire spirit for the betterment of your countrymen, and you cannot help but be inspired.



I scored better on this than anyone else I know, which only serves to tell me that my problems are entirely of my own making.



This video is the reason I started listening to kpop (Korean pop music).  I saw it by chance in a Korean fried chicken joint, and I was transfixed by its beauty and clarity of vision.  The girls all look sad, too, and I guess that works for me.  Since then, I've spent countless hours listening to and learning about all sorts of kpop artists, and I'm starting to tell the good from the bad.  This is still the best.



I did another one, and once again it failed to spur anyone else into creating their own faux-subtitled wonder.  Everything is dogs.



Writing is my favorite thing to do.

2015, An Annotated Year in Scott: October

This is what I meant when I said I was trying to come up with a bigger pregnancy announcement.  It was going to be a whole thing.  I put a lot of work into this treatment, and I showed it to the wife, and she wasn't feeling it.  It was a big letdown, because I thought it was hilarious.  Later, when I posted it on Facebook and everyone loved it, she changed her tune.  What a surprise.



See?  This is what I have to live with.  Script for Hansenbaby: not very exciting.  Shortage of plastic garbage holders:  hot dang.



There's still time for the new season to go in this direction.  Sarah Koenig, scourge of the Taliban!



Here's how this breaks down if you can read Japanese, with * for nonsense letters:

Kamon **so* *mu*na soro* yamomuwa nakae* *mo*namo**mo?

yamakaso *mu*na? *mu**mo soro* muyamo *muamu*mo*mo

All of it completely meaningless, of course.



What's really hilarious is that I didn't actually solve his problem!  The important thing is that he thought I did.  I got there eventually.



Remember back in January, when I was just starting to enjoy it?  We've come such a long way, but there's still a ways to go.

2015, An Annotated Year in Scott: September

For the prior two Septembers, I challenged myself to write a blog post every day in September, and I succeeded.  They weren't always good, but they challenged me to come up with new things to write about each day, which I appreciated.  However, in the second year of doing it, things started to drag, and I questioned what the purpose was behind it if I wasn't really enjoying writing.  I managed to struggle through that second year of it, but resentfully, and I was left with this vague feeling that I'd made the wrong decision.  This year, I didn't push myself.  If I didn't feel like writing, I didn't write.  I got a lot less done, but it felt more honest, and I was pleased with myself.

I thought this one was really good!

It didn't take me long to make peace with the idea.

As pregnancy announcements go, this one could probably use some work.  We had big plans, mainly involving illustrated frogs, but nothing came together.  In the end, that's okay -- this other thing we're making is going to be a lot more interesting.

Just the nutrients a growing fetus needs.

I don't want to be the kind of person who keeps his expectations low to avoid being disappointed, but it's hard.  It's hard, and nobody understands.

We all might!  Don't discount the nebulous difference between flora and fauna!

Wow I was really miserable when I wrote this!

What does it mean for my life that this is the most exciting thing I had to post about on this day?  I should be scuba diving with famous futurists!  Although really, my friend Donna is a quietly amazing person.  There are more of those around you than you might realize.

Perhaps it's just my love of the novel Lolita that informs my fascination with the name Dolores.  There is certainly something about this poem that gets to me, though.  Our Lady of Pain.

This little lady is likely to cause me quite a bit of pain.  But beyond that, I expect, quite a lot more happiness.  Thank goodness.

2015, An Annotated Year in Scott: August

August was a frightening month.  The release of Metal Gear Solid V was fast approaching, as was the beginning of a new school year, and with those things the day we would have to tell everybody about our impending child.  I tried to distract myself as best I could.



I was a late fan to the Metal Gear series, and this was the first game I was able to experience along with everyone else when it was released.  Pre-ordering it was a very exciting moment for me (especially since I generally refuse to pre-order things!)  Having finished the game and then some, I can tell you that the answer is a resounding "yes".  We are still here just to suffer.



I had been a tremendous fan of Jon Bois for months, but August was the time his writing became commonly characterized by something other than wry sports humor, and that was when I started posting his articles on Facebook.  I found this one especially resonant, as it both explained to me what the heck selfie sticks are about, and taught me how to be a nicer person in general.  I really admire the common sense, decency, and humanity that went into this piece, and you should too.



Every time I walk past those bottles of fresh-squeezed juice (which have since gone up to $10), I think of my friend Vinny and his terrible decision.  This is not cruel -- contrary to what he would have you believe, he makes very few poor decisions.  Seeing his cost-benefit analysis engine of a brain let him down was a tiny victory for those of us with less efficient hardware everywhere.



This one kind of blew up.  Multiple people, some of whom have taught Actual College Classes, and others who just Got Opinions, joined in to share their perspectives.  In the end, I think I got a little carried away (just a little), and set myself up for a couple of discussions that centered on ideas I hadn't really meant to promote.  But I truly believe there are better ways to get people to write well (regardless of context) than rotely reminding them of these nebulous, inconsistent rules.  Some people hear my assault on that attitude and start sweating as they recall the horribly written papers they've had to parse.  If you need to force someone to follow a list of specific rules that they don't understand already to be elements of the language they're writing in, just to be able to read something they've written, then you've already failed to get them to express themselves in any kind of meaningful way.  You have taken away their ability to express themselves at all, and if you can't understand them otherwise, then they need to go back to language classes, not hear a tirade against preposition location.  It's not perfect -- professors are going to be asked to teach students where there is a language barrier, and just deal with it -- but transforming their papers into a fill-in-the-blank isn't much good, either.



To this day, this was the dumbest technical request I've ever heard.  I had to explain to her what Braille is, and how it works, and how blind people use computers, and why this was totally pointless.  She did have the grace to be embarrassed, and gave me a bottle of wine for Christmas.



I laugh every time I watch this commercial.  I hope you will, too.

2015, An Annotated Year in Scott: July

In July, I went to a wedding, listened to some music, hung out at the beach, saw Niagara Falls, and completed a mammoth writing effort.  Not all of it is worth mentioning here.



I first discovered the existence of Turkish delight a mere couple of years ago, and since then, it has remained on the forefront of my candy-addled brain.  If you've never had the pleasure, it's best described as a candy with the texture of licorice, but none of the heavy flavor.  Instead, its light taste, often with a hint of rose water, softly caresses the palate.  So great is my love for it, I purchased a candy thermometer and attempted to make my own last year, but the attempt was disastrous.  Candy is very difficult to make when you're inexperienced.  There are few producers of the stuff in the USA, but in Canada, you can find a brand called Big Turk which carries the particular distinction of being chocolate-coated.  True, it is not a very fine chocolate, but it's simply delicious.  I have imported large packs of the stuff for my individual consumption, and I do not regret that choice.



I was in Canada primarily because 1) I was nearby anyway and 2) I wanted to see Niagara Falls.  It was well worth the trip!  We were there on the 4th of July, and we were able to walk behind the falls and, later, to see fireworks being set off over them (most gracious of the Canadians to give us that honor).  Then, at the end of a well-enjoyed night, peaceful red, white, and blue lights shone onto the falls as they roared away, and our patriotism was matched only by our sense of self-satisfaction.



This was a different wedding, much closer to home.  And, in truth, the photo booth props were much closer to our hearts, as well.  (If you don't know what OTP stands for in the context of romantic relationships, you just missed out on a pretty good joke!)



Fantasia.  I've written four novels and this still feels like the biggest writing project I've ever undertaken, even though it clocked in at a scant 25 pages (plus pictures).  The other Disney reviews were pretty cut-and-dried affairs, but the different shorts that went into Fantasia demanded an entirely new level of research and analysis from me.  I fear I may have grown a little obsessive towards the end of the project, and, while I understand its prohibitive length, I can't quite forgive the lack of response it received.  To pour so much of oneself into something, and feel as though the world has reacted with indifference, is a troubling thing.  That's art of any form, though.  I'll keep going.



So it is, you know.  This is a remarkable music video, as visually inventive as anything I've ever seen.  Knowing Japanese doesn't even matter to enjoy the music (heck, I can barely understand it), but still, how many are turned off?  How many scanned over it, saw nothing meaningful to the context of their lives, and went on?  I should focus on the ones who were amazed by it, or at least amused, but I can't see them.  And I didn't even make this.  It's maddening to think this way.



Why did I post this on my feed?  What did it have to say that I wanted other people to see?  I've never owned a jazz club, and I never will, and aside from a petty little self-deception of a writing technique, that's the only substantive suggestion this article contains to the would-be writer.  And yet, there was something in it that I connected with, some germ of truth in the wide, worrisome world that told me adulthood was an even more nebulous concept than I'd believed.  I am fond of beginnings, and that is all I will ever know.

2015, An Annotated Year in Scott: June

Merry Christmas.



The stuff that dreams are made of.



It is too late.  I have done and seen far too much.  I can never be Emily Dickinson.



I should not mind being perpetually misunderstood when I'm so completely unwilling to explain myself.

2015, An Annotated Year in Scott: May

May was a busy month.



This is a tricky one.  It makes sense to me, intuitively, due to my frequent dives into the mystic undernetting of reality.  If you take issue with any part of my statement, I would encourage you to think a little more mystically.  There's plenty more to learn.



But learning can be painful.  Knowing something can bring people together, but it can also drive people apart.  It all depends on the people, not the knowledge.  Be careful what you learn, if you don't want to be alone.



I think I may have been going a little more insane than usual in May.  In fact, I finally made it to a Sizzler in November, and it was nice.  Perhaps not a wellspring of the really Good Stuff, but nice enough to recommend.  Incidentally, I have many such phrases.



The same day I received this mailer and won $5 worth of pizza, the pizza place burned to the ground.  It was an exciting day, for all the wrong reasons.



This was another experiment, where I tried to say something that sounded insightful without having too much meaning.  People seemed to like it, which was nice.  It was a lie, though.  My impressions are perfect.



Remember what I said about the jerky?  That was a misremembered thing.  That actually happened with a huge bag of bacon.  I don't even know what the mystery jerky was about.  That memory is gone from me, supplanted entirely by bacon.  Goodbye, jerky.



I did make this trip, and I did live-tweet it, and it turns out there isn't much to tweet about on a 14-hour drive through Nowhere, U.S.A.  I didn't even see a tourist trap.  Maybe those days are gone.  The hysteria wasn't really massed, either.  You can have your money back.



The wife and I are firmly opposed to other people getting married, because we are well aware that the only Good Marriage is one that involves at least one of us.  We aren't available at present, of course, but you should never give up on your dreams (of marrying one of us).