behind the curtain

I've always possessed a fondness for murder mystery parties.  I played several in high school, from the incomparable How to Host a Murder brand, and each provided a rolicking good time.  The puzzle involved in putting the clues together and forming a theory for the murder is always a delight, of course, but what really appeals to me is the opportunity to fully embody my role.

You see, in these sorts of parties, each participant is assigned a character to portray, who will inevitably be more or less involved in some sort of murder plot (though it probably won't be the succesful murder plot).  As a participant, you're given a few character notes, including some background, motivations, and character quirks, and then set loose.  Some people struggle with the challenge of filling in the blanks and presenting yourself as somebody different; I thrive on it.

I'm not saying I'm an excellent actor.  The only reviews I've ever received on my theater acting were pretty negative.  But when it comes to improving a part, something in me comes to life.  My imagination runs wild with likely possibilities for the character, and I feel able to fully embrace the personality I'm assigned.  But who doesn't like to play pretend?

I've only hosted one such party personally, and I felt it was a rousing success.  I made a few mistakes with my understanding of the characters' backstories, but aside from that, I knew my character from the inside out.  I knew him so well that I was able to guess his eventual part in the plot despite others' insistence that his motivations would be completely different.  I felt connected to him as though he were a part of me -- and when the game was over, I was sad to let him go.

I don't think I have multiple personalities, or any such cliché notion.  But I have come to accept that my personality is plastic enough to accept an alternate persona pretty easily.  In my idle moments, I've caught myself forgetting my own name, so easily could it be anything.  Ultimately, if I'm not concentrating on it, my identity is utterly amorphous.

That lack of commitment to any one personality helps immensely in understanding the viewpoints of others.  When someone makes a statement that seems questionable, I find it simple to slip into their shoes and see things from that perspective.  I truly believe that actors are some of the most compassionate people out there, because their imaginations give them an outlook on the lives of others that might never occur to the theatrically disinclined.

If you've never tried acting, go take an acting class.  Try to be someone else; if you don't like it, you'll at least learn to be thankful for who you are, and you might even recognize that others face the same obstacles as you.  And if you do like it, then you get the opportunity to be whoever you want.