easy answers

For every venture (and I believe this is universal), there is an arc of excitement.  The first stages of the enterprise are full of novelty, excitement, vigor and the easy joy of discovery.  Nothing can match the complex tangle of delights associated with embarking on something new.  For instance, when I began this blog, each post was its own unique challenge to write, and I relished approaching them, as every time I sat down to type out another post, I found something new in the world, and in myself, to analyze, explore, and share.

But every story has its second act.  The novelties become routine, and the eagerness with which you set out on the journey fades to a dull ache behind the eyes.  Even considering your next step is a slog, and you strain against the very idea that set you on this path.  It's a dark, unhappy time, and you are overwhelmed with the desire to simply put it down.  It seems like there's no way you'll ever recapture the maddened glee that once animated you.

This is that fabled Moment of Truth.  This feeling of despair is a thresher; it is the test by which you will prove yourself either equal to or less than what you hoped to be.  It may not last a moment.  It may claw at your psyche for days, weeks, or years, depending on the nature of your project.  No matter the duration, it will torment you with the belief that your work is futile.  Past evidence, the testimony of others, and your own intuitions will amount to nothing in the face of this historical force of mediocrity.  Most of you will bow your heads, set aside your burdens, and return to that life you thought you had before.

But that won't be your life, not anymore.  Whatever you used to be carried in it the spark of a future that is now given up.  As you continue down that road to your particular end, you forever have one thing less to look forward to.  One thing less to hope for.  And one more painful memory to try to forget.

But if you persevere!  Oh, that glorious If; you, happy soul, will then on know that your heart contains more than a speck of the stuff of Truth.  And you will at last be able to look on the struggles of others with a kindly eye, since they will finally be more than a stinging reminder of your own hated character.  If thou wouldst be a friend to those in need, first must thou doust the flames of thy own amibition -- not through the negligence of pessimistic abandonment, but through the glory of optimistic accomplishment.  What art thou to others, if thou'rt not first a goodly lesson to thyself?